


Im not gay, but i’m in love with you

by sweetdispositionnn



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: F/F, Feelings, Fluff, Gay Stuff, Smut, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 21:53:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13599135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetdispositionnn/pseuds/sweetdispositionnn
Summary: April begins to form feelings for women, more specifically Ann. This is how she deals with those feelings





	1. Chapter 1

April began her day as she usually did, walking through city hall and past the shoeshine stand. she waved to Andy, the shoe shiner. she learned that Andy used to have a pretty big crush on her. she wished she could recuperate the feelings but she just couldn’t, and she couldn’t figure out why.

She made her way to the parks department and sat down at her desk. April began to day dream, as she often did, about the alternate universe her mind had created when she became bored.

A lot of times in this universe she had a girlfriend and she was coming to terms with the feeling she got in the pit of her stomach when she thought about kissing another girl or holding her hand. 

So she sat there for a good fifteen minutes before somebody walked in and bursted her daydream bubble above her head.

“April, hey” said Ann, “Do you know where Leslie is? she texted me to come in at 12 and i’m already ten minutes late”

April couldn’t compile a good reason as to why her stomach was suddenly now getting butterflies around Ann, a normal woman and Leslie’s best friend.

“I haven’t seen her today” she replied, “she could be in Ben’s office, you know how they are”. Her words came out monotone but inside she was strangely nervous talking to Ann.

“You’re probably right, i’ll go check” Ann said, but turned around quickly and half whispered “pray for me that i don’t walk in on them”. Ann lightly laughed and soon April was alone again.

April internally groaned. Why was Ann making her feel this way? ‘i’m straight, i am straight’ she repeated in her head.

She checked the clock and it was only 12:30pm. She figured since she was literally the only person at work today, she’d just go home and sleep off her weird feelings.

*********************************

Once she reached her apartment, April stripped off her clothes until she was down to her underwear and threw on a T-shirt. She didn’t get much sleep the night before due to watching a documentary on nuns gone wild a little too late. She plopped into bed and scrolled through her phone and noticed a text message, from Ann.

Ann (leslie’s friend??): Hey April, just letting you know that apparently the p&r dept. was closed today because of a weird holiday that Leslie must’ve made up, anyways thanks for the help and maybe i’ll see you around:)

“Woooow” April said out loud to herself. The day she actually showed up to work, she didn’t even have to be there. At least she got to talk to Ann.

To Ann: Yeah, i guess. Thanks.

She didn’t want Ann to suspect anything that she’d recently been feeling about her, or any girl for that matter. April figured that if she just laid low and didn’t draw attention to herself, the feelings would fade.

She soon fell asleep and began dreaming about this alternate universe that only had existed while she was awake, and able to control it.  
~~~~~~~~  
April woke up her her legs tangled with Anns and her center pressed against Ann’s thigh. She gasped lightly and turned around so her body was no longer touching Ann’s.

“April”, the words Ann spoke echoed through April’s dreaming state.

she turned her body back around to face Ann. Their foreheads where barely touching and April’s heart was beating inside of her chest so hard she thought it might burst.

Ann grabbed her hips and pulled her flush against hers and they both began to breathe unevenly.

“Ann, I...I can’t” she responded

“Why baby?” Ann breathed

“God help me” April groaned as her perfect dream bubble popped too.

~~~~~~~~  
April woke up feeling defeated, she knew these feelings were here to stay and she had to deal with them somehow.


	2. Baby pink and lacy black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April and Ann get close

Along came monday morning for April and she was excited, but at the same time dreading going to work. She slowly put her clothes on while thinking about excuses to not go. She eventually decided she should since it would get her out of the house and make her face her feelings for Ann.

April got more and more nervous as she drove up to city hall and parked. She walked in and headed for the parks department, keeping her head low and fidgeting with her phone. 

“Oh OW” said a voice as April looked up and realized she’d run into somebody. It was Ben.

“Sorry I-“ April began but was cut off when she saw Ann walking towards her and Ben, “I have to go”.

She walked quickly past Ann and right into the parks office. She sat at her desk and put her head in her hands. Why was she feeling like this?

“Hey April” Leslie said enthusiastically

“Hey Leslie” she replied sarcastically

“So, i’ve been working on this project and i’m going to need signatures from a lot lot lot of people” Leslie began, and April soon tuned out.

“I’m going to need you and Ann to walk around the Pawnee mall and get signatures from people in every store” Leslie said to her

“What? no i’m not doing that Leslie” she replied

“April I really need you to, for me?” Leslie pled

“Fine god. I better get a raise though” April said ‘angrily’.

“April you don’t even get paid”

She got out of her chair and made her way out of the parks department and over to Ann’s office.

*****************************

“Hey Ann” she said, attempting to hide every feeling she was experiencing (if that’s humanly possible)

“Hey April, what can I do for you?” Ann said cheerfully 

“So Leslie assigned us this stupid job where we have to go to the stupid mall and get signatures” she sighed

“Wait actually that’s perfect I need to buy more under wear & bras because-“ she was cut off by April

“Okay whatever just... just meet me outside in like 10 minutes and we’re taking your car” April said quickly

“Um.. alright I guess we’re taking my car” Ann said slightly confused by April

****************************  
They arrived at the mall and began collecting signatures. After an hour or so they found each other in the food courted looking defeated.

“How many signatures did you get” April asked

“Like three, i think”

“God why did Leslie make us do this? It’s such a waste of time” she groaned

“Well i need something from victoria’s secret, you coming with?” Ann asked 

“I guess” she said quietly

They made their way over to the store and April began to get nervous. She decided she wouldn’t help or talk to Ann while she shopped for bras, she’d buy her own stuff and do her own thing and Ann would do hers.

April wandered around the store, trying to avoid Ann and what she was picking out. She picked up a few bras that she thought would look cute, and be comfy.

“That one is cute!” Ann chimed at April

“Uhm” April cleared her throat “Thanks”

She walked towards the dressing room to try them on when Ann stopped her.

“You know maybe we should share a room” Ann started, “cause it’d be faster and we could get each other’s opinions!”

Ann giggled and looked at April like they were teenage besties or something to that extend. April went along with it because she couldn’t give Ann a reason to think she was uncomfortable being around her.

They stepped into the tight room and Ann looked at April.

“Which one first? Black or red?” She asked

“Black” April said quickly, maybe a little too quickly

“Alright sounds good” Ann said and looked at April with an expecting face 

“What?” 

“Aren’t you going to try something on or are you just going to watch me?”

“Oh right, duh. Im gonna try on this pink one” April held up the lacy bra and half smiled at her

Ann began to take off her shirt and bra and attempt to put the black one on as April turned around as to not look at Ann and get her bra on quickly

“Hey can you help me with this? I can’t get the clasp” Ann said

April internally groaned but complied once her bra was on

She turned around and clasped Ann’s bra for her. Ann turned around a looked at April

“Dude your boobs look so good, ugh i wish i had your size” She complained

“Thanks i guess.. i always hated them though because they’re so small and i uh thought guys liked bigger boobs” 

“Some people do but not all” Ann said back

The two women finished trying the bras on and telling each other what they thought of them even though April was basically being tortured the whole time.  
*******************  
‘I am in way to deep’ April thought to herself as Ann dropped her off at her apartment complex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo thanks for reading, sorry this chapter took me so long to write i’ve been super super busy lately. Any suggestions are taken in my inbox on tumblr :: stellxh  
> 


	3. Everything sucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April looks for a distraction from Ann but ends up closer to her than before

April laid on her bed on her back. she stared up at the ceiling at thought about every possible scenario that could’ve gone down inside that dressing room with ann.   
“i need a distraction” she said aloud to herself.

April sat up and texted Tom and asked if he knew about any parties going on in Pawnee tonight

Tom: April!!!! so glad you decided to hop on the Tommy-train for adviceo. The bar on 42nd is hosting some bday party and it’s free admission & you don’t need an invite!! have fun girl.

and so she did, well, she thought would

****************  
April slipped on a tight black dress and black pumps and headed out.

As soon as she reached the bar she knew she’d be distracted at least for tonight. The music was blaring so loud she could feel the bass as she walked towards the building. 

She went inside and went immediately to grab a drink.

“What can I get’cha?” the bartender asked

“Something that will get me the most drunk”

He gave April a look like he knew exactly what she meant and poured her a drink.

April looked around the bar and spotted Leslie and Ann laughing across the way.

‘oh god no’ April thought to herself

“APRIL!!!!” Leslie yelled, totally drunk

“Leslie... hey” 

“April why are you drinking alone?” she giggled

“Just trying to get my mind off some stuff i guess”

Leslie soon spotted Ben across the bar and began talking to him.

And April and Ann were left alone, again.

“Are you having boy troubles?” Ann said, “I mean.. is that what you’re trying to get off your mind?”

“Something like that”

“Well i know a lot about that, you can talk to me you know” Ann offered

“It’s less of a guy issue, and more of a girl issue” April said quietly

“Oh..” Ann said back, “wait i mean... i didn’t mean ‘oh’ as in bad i meant ‘oh’ as in i didn’t know you were into girls”

“It’s okay, neither did I” April laughed softly

She looked at Ann and sighed, knowing she’d never know

“So tell me about her” 

“Uhm what?” April stammered

“The girl, the girl that you’re interested in” 

“Umm... well she lives in Pawnee and she’s kinda older than me” April began, instantly regretting what she just told Ann

“Ooo do I know her?” Ann asked 

“Uh no I don’t think so, but i have to um go because i need to check on the uh demon lizard i just bought”

“What?” Ann chuckled 

“I gotta go, bye Ann” she said quickly and ran out of the bar and drove home  
**************  
April once again, laid on her bed, on her back, and stared up at the ceiling.

She began to feel her cheeks streaking with tears, not realizing she was crying. She had never felt like this, and she didn’t have any friends who were gay (girls at least). April felt so out of control and so alone she just wanted to tell some one. 

She laid like that for a little while until she decided to make some tea and watch a show that Ann had recommended to her while they were in the dressing room.

She turned on netflix and looked through the shows until she finally came across the one she was looking for: Everything Sucks!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh this is my fav chapter so far. also everything sucks! is a real netflix show!!! go watch!!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter!!!!


End file.
